Designing Me

Speaking of Which...

2009-09-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

Allison and I dropped into Barnes and Noble on the way home from work today. We were out and about, taking care of some miscellaneous errands before tomorrow's dental festivities. Generally speaking, our B&N trips are pretty straightforward: Allison goes one way, I go the other, and we meet up later. Usually she returns with a guilty look on her face and three books too many, and I make her put at least one back. Sometimes. That expression is one of the quirks that I love about her.

Tonight we arrived and, as per normal, scattered. I turned a corner and found myself face-to-face with the old COO. Yeah, the guy I mentioned yesterday. Wasn't expecting that one little bit. I also wasn't prepared to see him dressed down (jean shorts, a t-shirt and some beaten-up sandals). Intellectually I understand that he had to own casual attire (everybody does), but it threw me. Call me flummoxed. My brain went through a little reboot right then and there.

I recovered pretty quickly (I don't think he noticed), and we chatted for a couple minutes. Exchanged some pleasantries and I wished him the best of luck in the future. Prior to getting hired he'd spent years doing various consulting work, so I don't expect him having any issues landing on his feet.

He left to find his wife, and I beelined it back over to Allison. She and I snooped for a couple minutes, before heading over to the checkout line to be accosted by the old French lady, Elizabeth, who works the cash rep. Allison, you see, also worked at that particular store for a couple of months before landing a position at the current job. Elizabeth is the top seller of memberships at the store (easily doubling everyone else) because (1) she's an adorable tiny old French lady, (2) hard to understand, and (3) will not – repeat, will not – let you leave until you've signed or re-upped something.

It took somewhere around five minutes to purchase a a blank journal for Allison along with a pair of books and I had to sacrifice an email address to the Barnes and Noble Marketing Gods, but we made it out alive.

Then we went for sushi. Well, I had sushi and she had beef teriyaki. Allison doesn't do fish... yet.

Counterbalance

2009-09-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

It's all about equilibrium this week.

To celebrate our anniversary Allison and I went to see Dave Matthews over the weekend. The show, while great — it's Dave — was slightly disappointing. Understandably, they're touring to promote The GrooGrux King, but they didn't play much else. Seriously, I think they played every single song off the new album. But no Ants Marching. No Stay (Wasting Time). I think they only played Crush to avoid an outright mutiny.

The overall sound of DMB is changing. I'm also not sure how I feel about the new sax player. The new guy's got skills (Allison wasn't aware it was possible to play two woodwinds simultaneously), but I miss LeRoi. Something was just different, the vibe of the whole evening. We got our money's worth and both enjoyed ourselves, but without a doubt the last show was a much better time.

You take the good and the bad together.

Bad: The upcoming weekend is going to be full of suck. My wisdom teeth are coming out on Saturday. Not looking forward to that one little bit, no sir. Cross off the whole weekend plus Monday. Welcome to Vicodinland, population me.

Bad: Work is also getting scary again. We had yet another round of "workforce reductions." While it was only around eight people, several of them were close friends, and all of them seemed immune going in. Hell, nobody expected this, not a month after the last cut. I can't help but wonder if they were the lucky ones — they got severance. What happens if the doors close?

It all started Monday, when the owner of the company fired the Chief Operating Officer. It's sounding like they had a fundamental disagreement about the gameplan, and the boss decided that the COO was holding us back as a company. Who knows? But the timing is curious: not three days later and there are boxes in the hallways.

Tomorrow is our quarterly communication meeting. Unlike the previous ones this is a mandatory thing, and they're apparently locking the front doors and turning off the phones so everybody's around.

Good: I got some great news last week, unrelated to the office chaos. I don't want to jinx anything, so that's all I'm going to say on the matter for now.

A lot of highs and lows lately, as my world tries to stabilize itself. Dear World: knock it off already.

Bliss

2009-09-07T21:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked my one year wedding anniversary. And things are just as good today as they were then. Better, actually. We've got something strong, and I'm looking forward to many more wonderful years.

Say what you will about eHarmony and the hokey commercials, but don't doubt their results. They found Allison for me.

War of the Handles

2009-08-31T15:58:00.000-07:00

My eighty-six year-old grandfather beat me to Twitter.

I signed up today, which doesn't mean much in the here and now. It probably won't mean much later, honestly. I doubt I'll be using it much, beyond following a couple of bloggers and online personalities that I find intriguing. I've been told — commanded really — that I need to get on the bandwagon. So, we'll see. Call it a new experiment.

I know myself too well, when it comes to communication and networking. Bottom line: I suck at it, outside of folks that I physically interact with regularly. I've got a feeling that fragmenting my attention into yet another "social communication tool" will only make matters worse. But here's hoping that I'll turn a corner.

What really gets me is the proliferation of online identities. It took me a good twenty minutes to come up with a Twitter handle. Damn near every single iteration of my name was taken. My primary online pseudonym, "kakuzo" (see blog address), was taken. As an experiment I started typing in random stuff, and it was quite amazing how many are already allocated. I've already lost a couple of those battles.

The other day, for example, I found out there's another Designing Me on Blogger. Thank you Maja from Arizona for stealing my thunder, both here and on Twitter. I was around first, just for the record (neener, neener!), but (1) she did come on the scene while I was off on one of my various Blogger hiatuses and (2) she seems to be fairly active on both fronts. So I don't mind too much.

The second I found something I liked Twitter-wise I immediately went around and snatched up the corresponding gmail address (and variations on it), since I'd like to try and keep a handle (pardon the pun) on my internet branding.

Day of Days

2009-08-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

How often do premonitions come true, I wonder. Myself, I'm not overtly sensitive in that sort of way, so I've got no experience on the subject one way of the other. But people talk about them all the time. "I just knew X was going to happen."

Twenty three employees at our office had a bad day today. Each walked into work, for what must have seemed like a normal day. They left around midday, carrying cardboard boxes.

A couple, for various reasons, had some advance warning. Most of them didn't. How many of the latter felt something was up?

This isn't our first layoff. I've got no reason to think the office is closing its doors, and I'm fairly confident I'll remain employed as long as that doesn't happen. But the atmosphere around the building has changed. The cuts are getting deeper and deeper. The uncertainty and rumor are running rampant.

We're not lost, Private. We're in Normandy.

I trust that the folks making the decisions are making the right ones, and we can find our way back to better times. I have to trust in that, because there's not much else that can be done.

Fanboy

2009-08-11T20:52:00.001-07:00

I have to admit it: I'm an Apple fanboy.

Been using Macs all of my professional life. I'm actually typing on one right now. But it wasn't until Saturday that I truly got all geeky. I just purchased my first iPhone. Man, is it nice.

My old phone, a RAZR, has been on its deathbed for quite some time. The last insult was its refusal to ring. Before that was the random "Invalid Battery" warnings. Though, that one was funny. If the phone is on I think we can safely say that the battery does, in fact, work.

I'm going to get spoiled with the new shiny. I'd wanted one since the first generation models, but have resisted the urge since I didn't need a new phone. I didn't really need one. This time around I couldn't resist.

The novelty hasn't worn off yet, and I'm still making up excuses to play with it.

10/6

2009-08-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

Coincidence loves allusions, I've decided. There's nothing better then walking into the office and being reminded about the absurdity of yesterday, just by looking at my (immediate) boss's desk.

He just returned from a six day vacation; a full week plus Monday. Like me, he hates making a big deal about his birthdays. Which was yesterday. While I fully support not working on one's birthday (assuming you've got the time), it really was quite futile to think he was getting out of any hoopla.

Why I'm not sure, but the theme for his desk was Alice in Wonderland, specifically The [Mad] Hatter. I really do need to ask around as to the why.

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “what’s the answer?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.

I saw a group of folks started to decorate as I walked out. I really wish I'd made the connection yesterday, but my brain was just too fried from the whole farce. It would have been glorious to drive home with a song in my head:

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!

At the end of the day, though, everything's worked itself out. I made a call, trying to honor everyone's intentions. Y'know, just using reasonable steps. My boss signed off on it, and all should theoretically be good with the world. For now.

Upstream, Downwind

2009-08-03T16:30:00.001-07:00

Had myself a very WTF day today. While I do love myself some politics, the corporate politics at the office can, on occasion, be absurd.

Let me preface by saying I still love my job, nine years in. The company has treated me well, and my work is both appreciated and respected. Even with the recession I'm in no immediate danger of losing my job, if for no other reason than the list of people who actually understand what I do is fairly limited. I have a "backup" trained, but she really can't do what I do.

The people signing the checks get it. All of the higher ups know me, like me, and treat me well. I'm not management, middle or otherwise, but I've got control over my own personal domain and my immediate boss gives me a pretty free reign. I have someone to report to, but am fairly autonomous in my day-to-day stuff.

The project I'm working on has been in corporate limbo for weeks. It should have launched several weeks ago, and it's frustrating that it hasn't. Nothing like a pissing match to throw a wrench into the works.

I'm working on developing a marketing campaign. My responsibilities here are fairly straightforward: get all the specs from the various parties, and execute on them. I take what they want, and pull it off. This process becomes problematic when the folks upstairs don't agree on the scope of things. When the Boss (emphasis intended) and the Marketing Manager disagree on how things work, well executing is a little difficult.

Talk to one party and get one answer. Talk to the other guy, who just spoke to the first... different answer. Neat, huh? It gets more entertaining when the Marketing guy tells me, straight up, that the Boss isn't managing the project (read: ignore him) not five minutes after you walk out of said Boss' office.

I seriously wanted to smack him, especially considering that his solution to my particular problem isn't technically feasible (something I've had to explain to him on multiple occasions). Sure, the Boss' answer wasn't all inclusive either. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to drag me under the bus with you. At least he gave me a straight answer.

I just kinda threw up my hands. Tomorrow I've got to get my immediate boss involved, and let him wade through the cesspool. Welcome back from your vacation, sir.

Like Pulling Teeth

2009-08-02T22:04:00.001-07:00

Thursday, that particular idiom took on some personal meaning. I don't remember the last time I was at the dentist. It is entirely possible that I'd never been before — I've got no memory of such a trip, if one ever happened. My streak ended a few days ago.

Started getting some pain in one of my molars on Wednesday. I'd broken the tooth months ago, but it'd never really bothered me. A quick "Oh, crap," and I moved on with my life. It just became a part of who I was. Me, minus about a third of one tooth.

Earlier in the week I'd started getting some headaches that wouldn't resolve themselves with a standard dose of ibuprofen. Pain is the body's way of saying, "Hey, dumbass."

Allison was quite horrified. I am now sans-tooth, and have learned that putting things off is a bad idea.

Q&A

2009-07-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

We are not going to answer any questions. No, I'm kidding. They'll be oblique answers, and some of them will be in French.
– Joss Whedon at Comic-Con

I love this man.

Reconstruction

2009-07-27T15:59:00.001-07:00

"Look past the mess," the listing for our future home said. The place was absolutely trashed when we saw it the first time. There were fast food wrappers strewn all over the house, beer bottles in every closet, graffiti stenciled the garage, cigarette butts sprinkled throughout the lawn. Exploring past the obvious, we found all sorts of other gems: a broken bong in one of the smaller bedrooms, a picture of a teenager using said bong in the kitchen, tidy-whities (neither tidy nor white) strung up over the shower rod, and a latex glove in one of the toilets. I'm purposely skipping over one other item, because it deserves special mention in a future entry.

We spent days just cleaning. Our house.

Since then we've moved into renovation land, and I suddenly understand why there are five Home Depots and four Lowes within ten miles of our house. I get it. The figurative lightbulb (once I bought it) is on. All hail the home improvement store.

I spent last weekend ripping up the hideous tile in our entryway, extending our laminate flooring to the front door (that's new by the way -- no chance in hell that any of the old carpet was staying). As a bonus, removing the tile also allowed me to fix some of the problem spots with the hardwood (it was the very first section of the floor I worked on). The process took two days, and I had to pull up half the hallway to pull it off. In retrospect we were idiotic not to have taken out the tile in the first place. It looks fantastic now, if I don't say so myself.

I used to hate doing home projects. Anything wrong with a house was an annoyance. Now it's a challenge.

The Salute

2009-07-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

Every so often I go on a cleansing binge, which usually consists of tossing out old junk. It's a habit one gets into after living under tables. Yep, I lived under a table for a while back in my early 20s. Long story.

Organize and purge. That's the creed as of late. The music collection, thanks to TuneUp, is now nice and tidy. Delicious Library has allowed be to digitally catalog all of our books and DVDs. The laptop has gotten a lot of long overdue maintenance. Order, post-move, is starting to be restored.

I also went around and tried to clean up my online presence. From email opt-outs to account cancelations I've been doing all that I can to nix all the clutter. For the most part, it's been a simple process. Enter MySpace.

I swore up and down that I'd never join MySpace, but quickly caved to peer pressure. I joined up years ago, back when it was trendy thing to do. For the most part I've never been much for social networking sites -- I try, but I'm never very active on them.

MySpace lasted a couple of weeks. Then it just sat, and friends started to give my crap about how I never logged in.

Now everybody's jumped ship over to Facebook and Twitter. I've yet to join Twitter, but I'm actually doing OK with Facebook. MySpace is just a lost cause, so I figured I'd cancel it. Easy enough, right? Yeah, no.

While trying to cancel, I learned about the stupidest validation process ever: the "Salute." Ever heard of this crap? The normal cancelation process is, in theory, pretty straightforward. You click the cancel button, verify that yes, you do want to cancel (Yes, I'm really sure -- they try to talk you out if it repeatably) then they shoot you a confirmation email that you have to respond to. MySpace won't send me emails for some reason, so I can't complete the process. Switch email addresses, you say? Again, you have to confirm this with your old address.

This leaves me with option number three, the MySpace Salute.

The requirements for this "important matter of privacy and security":

Take a picture of yourself holding a piece of paper with MySpace information on it.
The "salute" must be hand-written.
They have to see your hands holding the handwritten piece of paper.
You must send it through the internal contact system (which is incredibly hard to find).

I've never had to jump through such elaborate hoops to do anything online. My online banking is easier than this. Yeah, I know MySpace is geared toward high school kids, but seriously? Is there really a need for all this? Just close the damn thing and be done with it.

After finishing the draconian process I had a thought about a second salute, but I don't think they'd find it as entertaining as I do.

Continuity? Check!

2009-07-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a very analytical guy, generally speaking. That said, it bugs the hell out me having a two year gap here. Since I've decided to resurrect the blog I have an overwhelming need to play catchup.

Now, I know I'm not going to be able to completely fill the void. But I can't bring myself to just start talking about current things without mentioning the old. Particularly because the this place is missing some of the best moments of my life.

Backstories will be had. I've got some great stories I want to relive. But I know me, it's gonna take some time. And odds are I'll be leaping around, 'cause that's how my brain works. First, though, there must be some continuity.

What you must know:

Allison and I got married last September.
We just bought our first home.
I just turned thirty.

I don't know where I'm going to start, but at least there's some context now.

The Blue Fairy

2009-07-23T12:31:00.001-07:00

I've been sitting here for a while, trying to figure out what to say as part of the relaunching of the blog. It's been two years. Two long, great years, filled with lots of miscellaneous crazy. I can't get the ending of the movie Artificial Intelligence out of my mind right now.

I recall sitting in the theater, ages ago, watching Haley Joel Osment sitting at the bottom of the ocean and the screen fading to black. It was a beautiful lament, a satisfying ending. My bladder aching, I rose to make a quick exit to the restroom. The strangest thing happened: the screen came to life again. What followed was a completely unnecessary and pointless epilogue.

Some things are best left unsaid. I hope it isn't true here. I have more to say.

Disconnected

2007-05-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

Like most folks I've moved several times throughout my lifetime. Since leaving the house that I grew up in back in '97 I've relocated one, two....six times. I imagine that's pretty common in your twenty-somethings. Moving happens. What I'm surprised about are all the little unexpected things, the quirks and charms of both the new place and the process itself.

The act of moving itself went pretty much smoothly. I'd packed up everything well in advance, gotten help from Richard and another friend, and we knocked out the task in just one trip.

I did manage to knock out one more thing: the mailbox. U-Haul trucks, I've discovered, are difficult to maneuver and have absolutely no rear visibility. I attempted to back the vehicle into the driveway (after a fifteen point turn, I might add) and was clued in that I was slightly off-target by a loud cracking noise, followed promptly by a thud. This did delay the unloading process for a couple minutes, while we all stopped to laugh at my impeccable skills.

But don't you worry. I've propped up my fallen comrade, and will give him an appropriate burial this weekend.

Unpacking is progressing nicely. It'll be a while before true order is restored, but I'm starting to reclaim my stuff. The homestead's beginning to take shape and I can picture where everything goes. Boxes are being slowly broken down, the essential items are all out and about, and I can navigate relatively hazard-free.

The only real pain so far has been getting the cable back up and running. About a week prior to the move I'd made arrangements to have all the utilities switched over, cable included. The plan was for a cable guy to turn off service at the apartment, then just flip the switch over here. Simple, right? No so much.

Sometime Saturday night (and again on Sunday) I tried plugging everything in and got nothing but static. I grumbled a little bit, and just focused on the other projects in the house. No cable or internet, but tons of DVDs and enough work to keep me busy. Annoying, but I could deal.

Monday morning I call up the fine folks at Cox Communications and ask them what happened. Customer Service pulls me up in the system and say that everything's done. I explain that the living room's completely dead, and I'm getting antennae quality reception in the bedroom (around six spotty channels, including oddly enough a second non-local ABC station). They can't get anybody out until Wednesday.

Two days later the technician's here, and he pretty quickly finds the problem: the last tenants had satellite and unplugged/rerouted everything. The tech ended up running new cable and rewiring everything (why he didn't just reconnect everything I'm not sure). It took about an hour and a half to wire up the two outlets, but the connection's great and I've got most of my services back.

Except my old account, that is. While I've got internet and HDTV I'm apparently not the same person I was before. At least that's my theory, 'cause they turned off my e-mail. My profile doesn't exist and the server's rejecting my passwords. Since the account's dead so is my web storage space. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get the blog's banner back.

On the bright side, at least I'm not getting bombarded with spam about my penis any longer (pun unintended).

Buried in Boxes

2007-05-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

It's odd knowing that my nights in the apartment are numbered. Four nights from now I'll be sleeping in the new place, my first house -- our first home together, Allison and I. While it will be a few weeks before the us part kicks in, it's still great. Not so much the moving part. But the rest, definitely.

The side effect all this is that the current pad is riddled with boxes. The former serenity has been shattered, and it's becoming difficult to cross the apartment without colliding with cardboard. I don't have much stuff, granted, but I don't have much space either. When you utilize drawers, cabinets and closets five-hundred square feet goes a long way. When you don't...

My question is where does all this stuff come from? I'm at the point in the packing that all that's left are odds and ends. The exceptions -- stuff that doesn't belong in any other box. I don't know where half of it came from. Even amongst the stuff I can categorize and sort there's weird stuff.

...when you buy furniture, you tell yourself: that's it, that's the last sofa I'm gonna need. No matter what else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was so close to being complete.

I have a turkey baster. Never in my life have I had a need for one. Not once have I gone, "Hmm, I wish I had a turkey baster." It wasn't a gift, I didn't purchase it, it's not stolen. It's just here.

The funny part: it went into a box.

Cliff Notes

2007-04-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

I owe everybody some content. There's a huge gap here that I need to fill, and I hope to get that taken care of in the coming days and weeks. But tonight I'm tired -- so you get the Cliff Notes.

Back in September, as I mentioned, I went to Florida to meet Allison. It went well. Very well.
On that same trip I took the scenic route home, stopping in Houston for a few days to visit John and Mike. Also good stuff.
In November, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, Allison ventured out to California. She'd never been to San Diego, so I gave her the dime tour. We did touristy stuff, visited with most of my friends and (most importantly) spent as much time as possible together. Allison returned to the Land of Humidity (tm) a few days later, and parting at the airport was more difficult the second time around.
In February I made another trip out to Florida. Somewhere around this point Allison and I finally got fed up with the long-distance thing, and decided that we needed to close the gap. 3000 mile commutes suck.
Allison and I talked for a while, and decided that we were ready to move in together. Florida, being Florida, lost the battle (it was pretty much a no-brainer). The exodus would happen sometime in the summer.
The Move is scheduled for June 1st. I'm flying out there, and the two of us will drive home together. To our home.
On the return trip to California the two of us will make a pit stop in Evansville, Indiana (her home town). We'll spend a couple days in her old stomping grounds (since we're not sure when the next opportunity will be) before setting our sights on the west coast.
I'm moving in less than two weeks. My current studio apartment isn't going to cut it. I found a three-bedroom house for rent in Oceanside. Deposits are paid, boxes are packed, and we're slowing approaching D-Day.

With moves there's (obviously) a lot of things that need to happen: finances, logistics, schedules. We're at the point that everything is pretty much set. Now it's just a waiting game, and the dates are closing in. This is a good thing.

The new chapter's getting ready to start.

224 Days Later

2007-04-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, it's been a little while. I hadn't realized just how much time had passed until I pulled up a calculator and did the math. Then came the double-take.

Dead Body: I'm not dead!
Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Man: Yes he is.
Dead Body: I'm not!
Dead Collector: He isn't.
Man: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
Dead Body: I'm getting better!
Man: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

I've gotten some gentle (and no so gentle) prodding from a few folks, wondering what's been going on with the page. Tell you the truth, I just haven't really felt like doing anything with it. At first I just didn't have the time. After a while, though, the reflex to blog about something just...stopped.

Dead Collector: I can't take him.
Dead Body: I feel fine!
Man: Oh, do me a favor.
Dead Collector: I can't.
Man: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

A lot has happened since the last entry. Hell, the Blogger interface even changed! Once I figured out how to use the new one (and switch everything over to my Google account) I decided to ease back into things.

Man: Well, when's your next round?
Dead Collector: Thursday.
Dead Body: I think I'll go for a walk.
Man: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
Dead Body: I feel happy. I feel happy.
WHACK
Man: Ah, thanks very much.
Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

I have returned. Tada and stuff.

Wow

2006-09-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's how I'd describe the first leg of my trip. Things couldn't have gone better in Florida. Amazing covers it pretty well.

I've been in Houston since Tuesday night. While I'm happy to be hanging out with John and Mike, I find my thoughts keep dwelling on Allison. It's going to be a while before I can make a swing back out to Cape Coral. So, in the meantime, I'm stuck doing the long-distance thing.

It's a lot harder now. There's now something tangible behind the voice on the phone. Sure, I'd seen pictures before heading out, but that's not quite what I'm talking about. I spent more of the time basking in her little mannerisms, sharing stories, and just getting to know a very special person. Those were my souvenirs, and they've made things very real.

I'll talk more about my trip (both legs) in a couple of days. I just wanted to let everyone that I'm safely in Houston, and that I had an incredible time in Florida. Oh, and I've cancelled my subscription to eHarmony.

Travel Prep

2006-09-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

The adventure begins this Friday!

For the past couple of years I've been watching the number of available vacation hours grow and grow on my paychecks. I'd use just enough to get the pool back down to a "safe" level, never doing anything special. I've taken a day off here, a week there, but it's never been spend doing anything memorable. Maybe catch a movie on opening day, or lounge around the house for a couple of days. The last substantial trip I took was around three years ago, when I helped John trek out to Houston.

I found a good reason to venture outside of California once again: Allison. A little while back I mentioned some promising activity on eHarmony and, well, here it is folks. I'm not sure why I haven't really mentioned it to anyone -- I think I was afraid of jinxing something. The two of us have been talking for a couple of months now, and it's gotten to the point that a face-to-face is in order. I'm really amazed how well we've been connecting up to this point. We'll see how things go when I arrive in Florida.

And, because I'd be hunted down and killed if I didn't, I'm making a swing through Houston on my way back to Southern California. I haven't seen John in a couple of months, or Mike since his ill-fated wedding, and I'm well overdue to catch up with the both of them. Plus, it's my turn. John's been back home a couple of times over the years.

Two vacations rolled up into one! Both legs of my trip have the potential to be very, very memorable. I know the boys are already plotting stuff to do in Texas, and I've got a great feeling about meeting Allison.

Oh, and I've decided that the Department of Homeland Security will only let deviants fly nowadays. This concerns me. I don't think I qualify, but I've already bought my plane tickets. Why am I concerned? In preparation for the flight I visited the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) website to check out the Permitted and Prohibited Items list. There's been a lot of fuss lately in the news about Homeland Security (don't get me started!), so I wanted to cover my bases and avoid any issues getting through all the checkpoints.

I'm officially annoyed that they've banned all sorts of liquids and gels. Yeah, I understand why, but if someone's really willing to play junior chemist on the plane and blow me up with their toothpaste, well, more power to them. You'd think someone would notice the prep work on that one, but what the hell do I know? Regardless, it boils down to the fact that I can't board with any sort of toiletries, so my plan of not checking any luggage is pretty much shot. I feel a George Carlin rant coming on, so I'll just skip past all that and highlight some of the items on both sides of the list.

Prohibited Items:
- Shampoos and Conditioners
- Toothpaste
- Deodorants (gel or aerosol)
- Lip Gels (Carmex, Blistex, etc.)
- Mouthwash
- All Creams and Lotions

Permitted Items:
- Cigar Cutters
- Corkscrews
- Personal lubricants (up to 4 oz.)
- Gel-filled bras and "similar prosthetics"
- Tools (wrenches, pliers, screwdrivers - 7" or less in length)
- Safety Razors (including disposable razors)

Sounds like a party, eh?

I really wish I could have been in one of the meetings where officials debated on some of this stuff.

Full Circle

2006-08-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

This is me, one year later.

Yesterday marked the first anniversary of this little opus of mine. I was surprised to realize that. Where does the time go? It's been a great year, one filled with plenty of happiness and change, humor and triumphs, self discovery and rantage. Who would have thought that this blog of mine would have lasted as long as it has?

But it has. It's grown, as have I, into something that I'm proud of. This forum has allowed me to gain some clarity and perspective, something that I'm very grateful for. And rumor has it I may have even entertained some folks in the process.

I don't know what tomorrow will offer, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

Metamerism

2006-08-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

In addition to making me sound smarter than I actually am, tonight's title references a concept I've been studying for work, one that has seeped into everyday life. Why? Because I like to think about stuff.

Metamerism is a term that pops up in the world of Color Management. Believe it or not but color is not as simple as one would think, and controlling it requires both careful planning and a little finesse. There's a science behind it all, filled with enough logarithms and obscure equations to make my brain hurt. Luckily there are folks out there with doctorates in the field to do all the heavy lifting.

While I don't need to be an expert, a passing familiarity with the concepts and theories has become a professional necessity. When things break I need to have a basic understanding of how they work, so I can communicate with the guys that live and breathe this stuff. So I decided to grab a book and start studying.

Simply put, metamerism is a phenomenon where two different color samples produce the same color sensation under certain viewing conditions, and a different color sensation under different conditions. Translation: Colors change based on how they are observed (different lighting = different color), and by who looks at them.

This relationship can create issues when you're trying to match colors, because you cannot always predict the perceptions of your audience, or environment they're going to view the work in. It's all about perceptions and expectations.

Here's where my thoughts shifted, away from work and back into the personal life. If we all perceive events in different ways, so how much deviation is there between two accounts of the same event? How well do we translate to each other?

This all leads back to a romantic thread, but I won't say anything more than that here, except that for the first time in years I see potential in something, in someone. I'm just trying to wrap my head around what it all means. Who knows?

Merciful Zeus!

2006-07-31T23:37:00.000-07:00

New Pet Peeve: Pneumatic Impact Wrenches

As I left for work this morning I noticed one of the tires on the Jettamobile was a little low. I decided to drive on it, stopping first at the closest gas station to restore the air pressure back to an optimal level. I made it to and from work without incident, and the tire was looking pretty good when I pulled into my parking spot tonight. A couple of minutes ago I headed outside to get the mail, and noticed that the tire was again going flat.

Not wanting to deal with it tomorrow morning, I decide to change the tire now. Changing a tire is not an AM sorta activity. So I pop open the trunk and pull out all the necessary equipment and have at. I want to find the person who put the last set of tires on my car and have a word with them.

This guy, whoever he is, has some sort of fetish with an impact wrench. If you don't know what they are, impact wrenches are those automatic bolt tighteners that auto shops use. The bastard practically fused the bolts on. Here I am, just past 10:00pm, literally jumping on the tire iron. Ten minutes later, and completely drenched in sweat, the first of the suckers comes off. Bloody hell.

The inside of my shower looks like Pig-Pen exploded.

One Way Street

2006-07-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of days I've been thinking a lot about the bonds between people. When your life intersects with another for any significant portion of time a dynamic is formed. Some of these people become friends, some become lovers, some become acquaintances, some just keep on being strangers. Every dynamic is different, and they change over time.

Last night I realized that one of my friendships slipped away. I'm not entirely certain when it happened, but I know now that things won't ever be the same. We'll still talk and joke, but the connection is gone. And it makes me sad.

About a week ago my old roommate Tiffany asked me if I'd like to go out to dinner with her. Even though we work for the same company, I haven't had much of a chance to talk with her for a couple of weeks. We'd exchange casual banter as we passed in the halls, or talk for a couple minutes as I passed her desk on my way to wherever. But schedules have been kind of a bitch lately, and we really haven't done anything of substance in a while. So naturally I welcomed the chance to go and hang out.

Being that I'm not great at choosing restaurants (call it apathy), Tiffany made all of the arrangements. She knows me well enough to just go ahead and make the call. And like that, it was set. Tiffany, her husband John and I would all meet up at the local Olive Garden after work. I swung past her desk on Thursday, just to confirm that we were still on for dinner. She let me know that John wouldn't be able to make it, but we were still good otherwise.

Work ends on Friday, and I head out. Tiffany and I work slightly different hours, so I had to head straight from work to the restaurant to make it at the appointed hour. Meeting right after work was something I wanted to do anyways, because she'd moved further south and the commute to and from work wasn't the shortest drive.

Tiffany was already seated in the restaurant by the time I got there, 6:00pm on the dot. She'd called me while I was on my way, and was even nice enough to ask me if I wanted her to order me a drink. I was minutes away at the time, so I thanked her, but said I'd figure it out when I arrived.

I sat down at the booth, and quickly discovered that my expectations for the evening had been grossly wrong. We weren't having dinner -- she was killing time until the traffic died down enough. She'd ordered an appetizer and a drink before I'd gotten there, along with two full take-out entrees for her and her husband. As she explained, she was going to "go home, lie around and watch TV, eat my food, fuck, go to bed." [blink]

After I'd managed to order my iced tea her phone rang. Not a problem at all. She answered it and had a five minute conversation with her mother-in-law, while I passed the time reading through the dessert and drink menu restaurants leave at every table with the condiments. It didn't bother me at all -- her phone call -- particularly because she'd mentioned months ago that she'd had a rough start with John's family. I was very encouraged by her banter with the lady, combined with the fact that I noticed that she wasn't just being polite. Things appeared good between them, which was a good sign.

Despite our waitress (who wasn't quite adept), I got my meal ordered just after Tiffany finished up with her call. She directed her attention back and me, and we started to to catch up. Well, not exactly.

Tiffany started by updating me on work. As I said, our jobs don't directly interact, so I wasn't really up to speed with how things were going in her neck of the woods. She talked about some of the new challenges she'd taken on, along with the normal day-to-day stuff that comes with it. I asked questions and she responded to them, and we talked until we'd pretty much exhausted the topic.

After that I inquired about other stuff important to her. I asked about John, following up on some of the recent events. She was pretty short with me on most of it, until she finally just changed the subject to me.

It's not that they're having problems, quite the opposite. I'm sure every couple has their ups and downs, but the general sense (gathered from the entire night, along with our brief talks the past couple of weeks, and with what I've heard through the grapevine) is that they're doing well. She was just tired of talking about it, so we moved on.

By this time my food had arrived, and I started my half of the killing-time-not-dinner we were having. Naturally, I began with the same thread she had: work. A lot of what I'm doing now isn't really visible to the rest of the company, and you can't explain it without a lot of backstory, so I just hit some of the highlights. I talked until she cut me off, telling me to talk about something outside of work. So, moving on.

Since we'd shifted over to social stuff, I decided to mention my recent getting of a life. Tiffany said she was proud of me, surprised really, because I'd never really been the type of guy to go out and do stuff with any sort of frequency. Prior to this year, I don't think I could have fathomed the possibility of a scheduling conflict. It's nice, y'know, to actually get out and spend time with people.

Lately a lot of time has been out with Maria and Richard (two friends I've mentioned before, who are now -- finally! -- an item). Tiffany asked what I thought about their new relationship, and I told her. We talked about what makes them work, and my general feelings on romantic relationships. This segued into eHarmony and my search for someone.

After nearly a year of going at it, I've finally gotten to the point that eHarmony's doing something. Initially, I think, I had my matching criteria too restricted geographically, so I wouldn't get more than a match or two every blue moon. Recently, there's one woman in particular that I've had a good repartee with, but it's much too soon to say much more about it here.

Tiffany asked about it, so I started to talk about my experience. Every couple of minutes she'd interrupt me, and jump into her own story on the subject. She'd finish, and tell me to continue, only to jump into another topic moments later. It got to the point that she'd forget what what we were talking about.

It was frustrating. Not that I was annoyed that I couldn't talk about myself. I could care less about that. It became quickly apparent that her inquiries about my life were nothing more than a veneer. Tiffany didn't really care about anything I had to say. We'd talk until she got bored, then she'd jump into something else. And the whole time she was snappy. It was about killing time before she could get home and start her real evening. I was a filler.

Maybe she was just in a bad mood, who knows. But I've come to the conclusion that our friendship doesn't mean what I thought it did, and I'm sad about it. Whatever it was that kept us close for all these years has faded away.

Climate Control

2006-07-24T23:53:00.000-07:00

Damn, it's hot. Almost midnight as I type this, and I've got the little wall AC unit of mine cranked. The stinky, but refreshingly cool, air is like a godsend. San Diego is normally a haven of good weather, and I can't recall the last time I turned on either the AC or the heater. Before this week. I've had the little sucker on in spurts all week long.

Knowing my luck, California's going to finally have some of these "rolling blackouts" they always warn us about. It's never happened in my area, but I can just tell that sometime this summer I'm going to be screwed. I'll get all comfortable, and CLICK. I've never worried about things like that, and I try to be conservative with the power, but it's gonna happen. Watch.

It isn't that it's been hot. Hot, generally speaking, I can deal with. It's been humid and sticky. That's the full of suck part. I haven't slept inside my bed in a couple of weeks, and I'm taking two showers a day. The first is the normal wake-the-hell-up cleansing. The second, before bedtime, it to prevent me from feeling nasty before I hit the hay.

To illustrate my point, food in my cupboards started to melt. I bought some snackage for the last poker game (that I didn't have the time to eat), and I brought it home for later consumption. Twas some of the good Chex mix with the chocolate pieces in it ("Turtle," I think it's called). I decided I wanted some a few hours ago, just to munch on, and it was all gooey. Yum, eh?

I'm hoping that things return to normal soon. I miss being spoiled.