Designing Me

Speaking of Which...

2009-09-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

Allison and I dropped into Barnes and Noble on the way home from work today. We were out and about, taking care of some miscellaneous errands before tomorrow's dental festivities. Generally speaking, our B&N trips are pretty straightforward: Allison goes one way, I go the other, and we meet up later. Usually she returns with a guilty look on her face and three books too many, and I make her put at least one back. Sometimes. That expression is one of the quirks that I love about her.

Tonight we arrived and, as per normal, scattered. I turned a corner and found myself face-to-face with the old COO. Yeah, the guy I mentioned yesterday. Wasn't expecting that one little bit. I also wasn't prepared to see him dressed down (jean shorts, a t-shirt and some beaten-up sandals). Intellectually I understand that he had to own casual attire (everybody does), but it threw me. Call me flummoxed. My brain went through a little reboot right then and there.

I recovered pretty quickly (I don't think he noticed), and we chatted for a couple minutes. Exchanged some pleasantries and I wished him the best of luck in the future. Prior to getting hired he'd spent years doing various consulting work, so I don't expect him having any issues landing on his feet.

He left to find his wife, and I beelined it back over to Allison. She and I snooped for a couple minutes, before heading over to the checkout line to be accosted by the old French lady, Elizabeth, who works the cash rep. Allison, you see, also worked at that particular store for a couple of months before landing a position at the current job. Elizabeth is the top seller of memberships at the store (easily doubling everyone else) because (1) she's an adorable tiny old French lady, (2) hard to understand, and (3) will not – repeat, will not – let you leave until you've signed or re-upped something.

It took somewhere around five minutes to purchase a a blank journal for Allison along with a pair of books and I had to sacrifice an email address to the Barnes and Noble Marketing Gods, but we made it out alive.

Then we went for sushi. Well, I had sushi and she had beef teriyaki. Allison doesn't do fish... yet.

Counterbalance

2009-09-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

It's all about equilibrium this week.

To celebrate our anniversary Allison and I went to see Dave Matthews over the weekend. The show, while great — it's Dave — was slightly disappointing. Understandably, they're touring to promote The GrooGrux King, but they didn't play much else. Seriously, I think they played every single song off the new album. But no Ants Marching. No Stay (Wasting Time). I think they only played Crush to avoid an outright mutiny.

The overall sound of DMB is changing. I'm also not sure how I feel about the new sax player. The new guy's got skills (Allison wasn't aware it was possible to play two woodwinds simultaneously), but I miss LeRoi. Something was just different, the vibe of the whole evening. We got our money's worth and both enjoyed ourselves, but without a doubt the last show was a much better time.

You take the good and the bad together.

Bad: The upcoming weekend is going to be full of suck. My wisdom teeth are coming out on Saturday. Not looking forward to that one little bit, no sir. Cross off the whole weekend plus Monday. Welcome to Vicodinland, population me.

Bad: Work is also getting scary again. We had yet another round of "workforce reductions." While it was only around eight people, several of them were close friends, and all of them seemed immune going in. Hell, nobody expected this, not a month after the last cut. I can't help but wonder if they were the lucky ones — they got severance. What happens if the doors close?

It all started Monday, when the owner of the company fired the Chief Operating Officer. It's sounding like they had a fundamental disagreement about the gameplan, and the boss decided that the COO was holding us back as a company. Who knows? But the timing is curious: not three days later and there are boxes in the hallways.

Tomorrow is our quarterly communication meeting. Unlike the previous ones this is a mandatory thing, and they're apparently locking the front doors and turning off the phones so everybody's around.

Good: I got some great news last week, unrelated to the office chaos. I don't want to jinx anything, so that's all I'm going to say on the matter for now.

A lot of highs and lows lately, as my world tries to stabilize itself. Dear World: knock it off already.

War of the Handles

2009-08-31T15:58:00.000-07:00

My eighty-six year-old grandfather beat me to Twitter.

I signed up today, which doesn't mean much in the here and now. It probably won't mean much later, honestly. I doubt I'll be using it much, beyond following a couple of bloggers and online personalities that I find intriguing. I've been told — commanded really — that I need to get on the bandwagon. So, we'll see. Call it a new experiment.

I know myself too well, when it comes to communication and networking. Bottom line: I suck at it, outside of folks that I physically interact with regularly. I've got a feeling that fragmenting my attention into yet another "social communication tool" will only make matters worse. But here's hoping that I'll turn a corner.

What really gets me is the proliferation of online identities. It took me a good twenty minutes to come up with a Twitter handle. Damn near every single iteration of my name was taken. My primary online pseudonym, "kakuzo" (see blog address), was taken. As an experiment I started typing in random stuff, and it was quite amazing how many are already allocated. I've already lost a couple of those battles.

The other day, for example, I found out there's another Designing Me on Blogger. Thank you Maja from Arizona for stealing my thunder, both here and on Twitter. I was around first, just for the record (neener, neener!), but (1) she did come on the scene while I was off on one of my various Blogger hiatuses and (2) she seems to be fairly active on both fronts. So I don't mind too much.

The second I found something I liked Twitter-wise I immediately went around and snatched up the corresponding gmail address (and variations on it), since I'd like to try and keep a handle (pardon the pun) on my internet branding.

Day of Days

2009-08-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

How often do premonitions come true, I wonder. Myself, I'm not overtly sensitive in that sort of way, so I've got no experience on the subject one way of the other. But people talk about them all the time. "I just knew X was going to happen."

Twenty three employees at our office had a bad day today. Each walked into work, for what must have seemed like a normal day. They left around midday, carrying cardboard boxes.

A couple, for various reasons, had some advance warning. Most of them didn't. How many of the latter felt something was up?

This isn't our first layoff. I've got no reason to think the office is closing its doors, and I'm fairly confident I'll remain employed as long as that doesn't happen. But the atmosphere around the building has changed. The cuts are getting deeper and deeper. The uncertainty and rumor are running rampant.

We're not lost, Private. We're in Normandy.

I trust that the folks making the decisions are making the right ones, and we can find our way back to better times. I have to trust in that, because there's not much else that can be done.

10/6

2009-08-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

Coincidence loves allusions, I've decided. There's nothing better then walking into the office and being reminded about the absurdity of yesterday, just by looking at my (immediate) boss's desk.

He just returned from a six day vacation; a full week plus Monday. Like me, he hates making a big deal about his birthdays. Which was yesterday. While I fully support not working on one's birthday (assuming you've got the time), it really was quite futile to think he was getting out of any hoopla.

Why I'm not sure, but the theme for his desk was Alice in Wonderland, specifically The [Mad] Hatter. I really do need to ask around as to the why.

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “what’s the answer?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.

I saw a group of folks started to decorate as I walked out. I really wish I'd made the connection yesterday, but my brain was just too fried from the whole farce. It would have been glorious to drive home with a song in my head:

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!

At the end of the day, though, everything's worked itself out. I made a call, trying to honor everyone's intentions. Y'know, just using reasonable steps. My boss signed off on it, and all should theoretically be good with the world. For now.

Like Pulling Teeth

2009-08-02T22:04:00.001-07:00

Thursday, that particular idiom took on some personal meaning. I don't remember the last time I was at the dentist. It is entirely possible that I'd never been before — I've got no memory of such a trip, if one ever happened. My streak ended a few days ago.

Started getting some pain in one of my molars on Wednesday. I'd broken the tooth months ago, but it'd never really bothered me. A quick "Oh, crap," and I moved on with my life. It just became a part of who I was. Me, minus about a third of one tooth.

Earlier in the week I'd started getting some headaches that wouldn't resolve themselves with a standard dose of ibuprofen. Pain is the body's way of saying, "Hey, dumbass."

Allison was quite horrified. I am now sans-tooth, and have learned that putting things off is a bad idea.

Q&A

2009-07-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

We are not going to answer any questions. No, I'm kidding. They'll be oblique answers, and some of them will be in French.
– Joss Whedon at Comic-Con

I love this man.

Continuity? Check!

2009-07-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a very analytical guy, generally speaking. That said, it bugs the hell out me having a two year gap here. Since I've decided to resurrect the blog I have an overwhelming need to play catchup.

Now, I know I'm not going to be able to completely fill the void. But I can't bring myself to just start talking about current things without mentioning the old. Particularly because the this place is missing some of the best moments of my life.

Backstories will be had. I've got some great stories I want to relive. But I know me, it's gonna take some time. And odds are I'll be leaping around, 'cause that's how my brain works. First, though, there must be some continuity.

What you must know:

Allison and I got married last September.
We just bought our first home.
I just turned thirty.

I don't know where I'm going to start, but at least there's some context now.

The Blue Fairy

2009-07-23T12:31:00.001-07:00

I've been sitting here for a while, trying to figure out what to say as part of the relaunching of the blog. It's been two years. Two long, great years, filled with lots of miscellaneous crazy. I can't get the ending of the movie Artificial Intelligence out of my mind right now.

I recall sitting in the theater, ages ago, watching Haley Joel Osment sitting at the bottom of the ocean and the screen fading to black. It was a beautiful lament, a satisfying ending. My bladder aching, I rose to make a quick exit to the restroom. The strangest thing happened: the screen came to life again. What followed was a completely unnecessary and pointless epilogue.

Some things are best left unsaid. I hope it isn't true here. I have more to say.

Buried in Boxes

2007-05-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

It's odd knowing that my nights in the apartment are numbered. Four nights from now I'll be sleeping in the new place, my first house -- our first home together, Allison and I. While it will be a few weeks before the us part kicks in, it's still great. Not so much the moving part. But the rest, definitely.

The side effect all this is that the current pad is riddled with boxes. The former serenity has been shattered, and it's becoming difficult to cross the apartment without colliding with cardboard. I don't have much stuff, granted, but I don't have much space either. When you utilize drawers, cabinets and closets five-hundred square feet goes a long way. When you don't...

My question is where does all this stuff come from? I'm at the point in the packing that all that's left are odds and ends. The exceptions -- stuff that doesn't belong in any other box. I don't know where half of it came from. Even amongst the stuff I can categorize and sort there's weird stuff.

...when you buy furniture, you tell yourself: that's it, that's the last sofa I'm gonna need. No matter what else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was so close to being complete.

I have a turkey baster. Never in my life have I had a need for one. Not once have I gone, "Hmm, I wish I had a turkey baster." It wasn't a gift, I didn't purchase it, it's not stolen. It's just here.

The funny part: it went into a box.

Cliff Notes

2007-04-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

I owe everybody some content. There's a huge gap here that I need to fill, and I hope to get that taken care of in the coming days and weeks. But tonight I'm tired -- so you get the Cliff Notes.

Back in September, as I mentioned, I went to Florida to meet Allison. It went well. Very well.
On that same trip I took the scenic route home, stopping in Houston for a few days to visit John and Mike. Also good stuff.
In November, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, Allison ventured out to California. She'd never been to San Diego, so I gave her the dime tour. We did touristy stuff, visited with most of my friends and (most importantly) spent as much time as possible together. Allison returned to the Land of Humidity (tm) a few days later, and parting at the airport was more difficult the second time around.
In February I made another trip out to Florida. Somewhere around this point Allison and I finally got fed up with the long-distance thing, and decided that we needed to close the gap. 3000 mile commutes suck.
Allison and I talked for a while, and decided that we were ready to move in together. Florida, being Florida, lost the battle (it was pretty much a no-brainer). The exodus would happen sometime in the summer.
The Move is scheduled for June 1st. I'm flying out there, and the two of us will drive home together. To our home.
On the return trip to California the two of us will make a pit stop in Evansville, Indiana (her home town). We'll spend a couple days in her old stomping grounds (since we're not sure when the next opportunity will be) before setting our sights on the west coast.
I'm moving in less than two weeks. My current studio apartment isn't going to cut it. I found a three-bedroom house for rent in Oceanside. Deposits are paid, boxes are packed, and we're slowing approaching D-Day.

With moves there's (obviously) a lot of things that need to happen: finances, logistics, schedules. We're at the point that everything is pretty much set. Now it's just a waiting game, and the dates are closing in. This is a good thing.

The new chapter's getting ready to start.

224 Days Later

2007-04-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, it's been a little while. I hadn't realized just how much time had passed until I pulled up a calculator and did the math. Then came the double-take.

Dead Body: I'm not dead!
Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Man: Yes he is.
Dead Body: I'm not!
Dead Collector: He isn't.
Man: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
Dead Body: I'm getting better!
Man: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

I've gotten some gentle (and no so gentle) prodding from a few folks, wondering what's been going on with the page. Tell you the truth, I just haven't really felt like doing anything with it. At first I just didn't have the time. After a while, though, the reflex to blog about something just...stopped.

Dead Collector: I can't take him.
Dead Body: I feel fine!
Man: Oh, do me a favor.
Dead Collector: I can't.
Man: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

A lot has happened since the last entry. Hell, the Blogger interface even changed! Once I figured out how to use the new one (and switch everything over to my Google account) I decided to ease back into things.

Man: Well, when's your next round?
Dead Collector: Thursday.
Dead Body: I think I'll go for a walk.
Man: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
Dead Body: I feel happy. I feel happy.
WHACK
Man: Ah, thanks very much.
Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

I have returned. Tada and stuff.

Travel Prep

2006-09-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

The adventure begins this Friday!

For the past couple of years I've been watching the number of available vacation hours grow and grow on my paychecks. I'd use just enough to get the pool back down to a "safe" level, never doing anything special. I've taken a day off here, a week there, but it's never been spend doing anything memorable. Maybe catch a movie on opening day, or lounge around the house for a couple of days. The last substantial trip I took was around three years ago, when I helped John trek out to Houston.

I found a good reason to venture outside of California once again: Allison. A little while back I mentioned some promising activity on eHarmony and, well, here it is folks. I'm not sure why I haven't really mentioned it to anyone -- I think I was afraid of jinxing something. The two of us have been talking for a couple of months now, and it's gotten to the point that a face-to-face is in order. I'm really amazed how well we've been connecting up to this point. We'll see how things go when I arrive in Florida.

And, because I'd be hunted down and killed if I didn't, I'm making a swing through Houston on my way back to Southern California. I haven't seen John in a couple of months, or Mike since his ill-fated wedding, and I'm well overdue to catch up with the both of them. Plus, it's my turn. John's been back home a couple of times over the years.

Two vacations rolled up into one! Both legs of my trip have the potential to be very, very memorable. I know the boys are already plotting stuff to do in Texas, and I've got a great feeling about meeting Allison.

Oh, and I've decided that the Department of Homeland Security will only let deviants fly nowadays. This concerns me. I don't think I qualify, but I've already bought my plane tickets. Why am I concerned? In preparation for the flight I visited the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) website to check out the Permitted and Prohibited Items list. There's been a lot of fuss lately in the news about Homeland Security (don't get me started!), so I wanted to cover my bases and avoid any issues getting through all the checkpoints.

I'm officially annoyed that they've banned all sorts of liquids and gels. Yeah, I understand why, but if someone's really willing to play junior chemist on the plane and blow me up with their toothpaste, well, more power to them. You'd think someone would notice the prep work on that one, but what the hell do I know? Regardless, it boils down to the fact that I can't board with any sort of toiletries, so my plan of not checking any luggage is pretty much shot. I feel a George Carlin rant coming on, so I'll just skip past all that and highlight some of the items on both sides of the list.

Prohibited Items:
- Shampoos and Conditioners
- Toothpaste
- Deodorants (gel or aerosol)
- Lip Gels (Carmex, Blistex, etc.)
- Mouthwash
- All Creams and Lotions

Permitted Items:
- Cigar Cutters
- Corkscrews
- Personal lubricants (up to 4 oz.)
- Gel-filled bras and "similar prosthetics"
- Tools (wrenches, pliers, screwdrivers - 7" or less in length)
- Safety Razors (including disposable razors)

Sounds like a party, eh?

I really wish I could have been in one of the meetings where officials debated on some of this stuff.

Merciful Zeus!

2006-07-31T23:37:00.000-07:00

New Pet Peeve: Pneumatic Impact Wrenches

As I left for work this morning I noticed one of the tires on the Jettamobile was a little low. I decided to drive on it, stopping first at the closest gas station to restore the air pressure back to an optimal level. I made it to and from work without incident, and the tire was looking pretty good when I pulled into my parking spot tonight. A couple of minutes ago I headed outside to get the mail, and noticed that the tire was again going flat.

Not wanting to deal with it tomorrow morning, I decide to change the tire now. Changing a tire is not an AM sorta activity. So I pop open the trunk and pull out all the necessary equipment and have at. I want to find the person who put the last set of tires on my car and have a word with them.

This guy, whoever he is, has some sort of fetish with an impact wrench. If you don't know what they are, impact wrenches are those automatic bolt tighteners that auto shops use. The bastard practically fused the bolts on. Here I am, just past 10:00pm, literally jumping on the tire iron. Ten minutes later, and completely drenched in sweat, the first of the suckers comes off. Bloody hell.

The inside of my shower looks like Pig-Pen exploded.

Climate Control

2006-07-24T23:53:00.000-07:00

Damn, it's hot. Almost midnight as I type this, and I've got the little wall AC unit of mine cranked. The stinky, but refreshingly cool, air is like a godsend. San Diego is normally a haven of good weather, and I can't recall the last time I turned on either the AC or the heater. Before this week. I've had the little sucker on in spurts all week long.

Knowing my luck, California's going to finally have some of these "rolling blackouts" they always warn us about. It's never happened in my area, but I can just tell that sometime this summer I'm going to be screwed. I'll get all comfortable, and CLICK. I've never worried about things like that, and I try to be conservative with the power, but it's gonna happen. Watch.

It isn't that it's been hot. Hot, generally speaking, I can deal with. It's been humid and sticky. That's the full of suck part. I haven't slept inside my bed in a couple of weeks, and I'm taking two showers a day. The first is the normal wake-the-hell-up cleansing. The second, before bedtime, it to prevent me from feeling nasty before I hit the hay.

To illustrate my point, food in my cupboards started to melt. I bought some snackage for the last poker game (that I didn't have the time to eat), and I brought it home for later consumption. Twas some of the good Chex mix with the chocolate pieces in it ("Turtle," I think it's called). I decided I wanted some a few hours ago, just to munch on, and it was all gooey. Yum, eh?

I'm hoping that things return to normal soon. I miss being spoiled.

Happy 4th!

2006-07-05T00:44:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'd like to wish Gary a belated Happy Birthday. It was on Saturday, and I slept through most of it. Around 11:45pm I roused from my torpor, and realized that I'd forgotten to phone, e-mail or send a carrier pigeon his way. I'd meant to congratulate him today (err, yesterday) -- the 4th of July, at our yearly gathering to watch fireworks, but guess what: I was sleeping yet again. Reckon I was tired. I feel bad about the double flakage, but there's not much to be done about it now.

So, as I mentioned, the Fourth has come and gone. It brought with it an extended weekend, full of activity. The holiday itself was pretty low-key.

What's been going on, you ask?

Since my last entry I've been out twice to a bar called the Jumping Turtle in San Marcos to check out a band, The Burning of Rome, which I now officially dig. Richard's friends with the group, and called up most of his friends to garner support for the group. If I had to describe their sound live, I'd probably mix The Cramps and The Red Elvises together and throw in a little bit of something else. Their sound is eclectic, but cool.

I've learned that poker on the XBOX is addictive, and adding house rules to Uno is evil. Both revelations come, again, from Richard. We had a poker game last Tuesday at his house (which we both quickly went out on), and the pre- and post-game was filled with these alternate forms of entertainment.

Needless to say, I bought the official WSOP video game and have been hooked on it for a couple of days now. I think it's made with pure crack-cocaine.

Now a plea: Never -- NEVER -- add house rules to Uno. Particularly ones that shift player's hands around when certain cards are played. The games become as long as Monopoly, and eyes begin to bleed. It makes you consider ritual suicide after the first 45 minutes.

My IKEA chair is working out wonderfully. Changing furniture, however, disrupts the entire floor plan of a studio apartment, and I've spent several hours cleaning and re-arranging things. The futon-to-chair switch highlighted the lack of wall décor in the homestead, something that I tried to remedy. Almost...

I ordered a framed Garden State poster online to fill the space above my chair. It's a focal wall, and is glaringly white without a big piece of furniture anchored in front of it.

Why Garden State, you ask?

I love the movie.
The color palette in the poster (and general composition) goes really well with everything else in the pad (a Graphic Artist thing). This was actually the main factor in my decision.
A framed movie poster is large enough to adequately fill the space.
I'd feel too dorky hanging something sci-fi (Star Wars and Serenity came to mind).
I don't have enough photos to hang anywhere.

The package arrived on Monday, and I got the sucker up on the wall. It was glorious. Only then did I notice that they'd mis-framed it. I'd asked for a 3" matting around the poster, which I got, but they failed to center the print. It's actually off pretty badly left/right (a flaw accentuated by the block of credits at the base of any movie poster). How do you not see that? Everything's glued down, so there's no chance of fixing it myself (which I tried). They've got a return/exchange program, so I'm planning on shipping it back tomorrow and following up with a phone call. I had to fish the box out of the dumpster.

Time for bed. I've got the feeling that tomorrow's going to be chaotic.

Blog? What Blog?

2006-03-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

It seems that I'd forgotten that I had a blog to keep updated. I'm not trying to write my memoirs here, but it's been well over a month since I've posted anything. I've had other priorities. That and I'm a slacker.

So I guess it's time for another "what have I been doing?"

- Work's been pretty crazy. I'm at the point that I've almost got too much to do. Everything's getting done, but it's been a struggle to keep it all in perspective. Now that I'm fully on the development side of the fence all the projects have ramped up to consume my existence, and I'm having quite a time balancing it all. It makes the day interesting.

I finally learned why people use organizational programs. Who would have thought that me, Graphic Artist Extraordinare, would spend more time in Microsoft Office (and my PC) than on my Mac (and the design apps that pay the bills)? I don't think I even launched InDesign until mid-afternoon today. That's almost blasphemous. Conference calls and action items will do that to a guy.

- My nephew, Stephen, just had his first birthday. Check out the scoop on Gary's site, if you're so inclined. I just can't believe it's been a year already since the little guy showed up.

- I've got a poker night now. Several of my friends have a regular game and they finally convinced me to pull up a chair. Turns out I'm pretty good at it too, having won two of the three games. I guess I owe my thanks (and a very small stipend of my winnings) to Celebrity Poker Showdown (Phil Gordon does a great job explaining what people do wrong). We've got a pretty relaxed table, so it's more of a social event than a high-risk investment opportunity. Plus you get to talk smack.

- I've met a couple of intriguing women. Who knows if anything will become of it, but I like the potential. Also had some minor activity on eHarmony. My intuition on the subject has historically sucked but who knows? Too early to tell, and I'm not going into any more details.

- Just over two weeks ago I got into a car accident. Excluding the obligatory pain in the ass part it was a fairly minor deal. It was lightly raining and the SUV in front of me abruptly stopped when they didn't have to (yielding when they had right of way). And of course I was a little too close and tapped their bumper. Completely my fault. I cracked my grill and scuffed up some paint, while the other car escaped unscathed. The Jetta spent a couple days in the body shop and all is well again (except what was my perfect driving record). Meh.

Here endeth the update. More later.

Four Things

2006-02-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

I saw this floating around other sites, and thought I'd do one myself.

Four jobs I've had:
1. Graphic Artist
2. Theatre Manager
3. Drive-In Movie Security
4. Pizza Slinger

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Star Wars (all of 'em)
2. Garden State
3. Fight Club
4. The 13th Warrior

Four places I've lived:
1. San Diego County, CA
2. Orange County, CA (Yeah, the "O.C.")
3. Western Pennsylvania
4. The Womb (which was in the evacuation zone of Three Mile Island at the time)

Four TV shows I love:
1. Firefly
2. Battlestar Galactica (the new incarnation)
3. Farscape
4. Entourage

Four places I've vacationed:
1. Mt. Hood, Oregon
2. Las Vegas, Nevada
3. Washington, D.C.
4. Ligonier, Pennsylvania

Four of my favorite dishes (to cook):
1. A good steak
2. Chicken and broccoli pasta
3. Lemon pepper chicken
4. Breakfast

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Google
2. IMDb
3. DragonRealms
4. Wikipedia

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Out with friends
2. Asleep
3. At the movies
4. On a really good date

Four jobs I'd like to have:
1. Creative Director
2. Professional Photographer
3. Writer (Fiction)
4. Music Composer

Four places I'd like to live:
1. Somewhere in Japan
2. Manhattan
3. Sydney, Australia
4. Right here in San Diego, but in a much nicer place.

Four books I love:
1. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
2. Othello by William Shakespeare
3. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
4. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

Four places I'd like to vacation:
1. Tokyo, Japan
2. New York, New York
3. Seattle, Washington
4. Sydney, Australia

Four of my favorite dishes (to eat):
1. Sushi (specifically spicy salmon rolls, but it's all good stuff)
2. Chipotle carnitas burritos
3. Roast-beef sandwiches
4. Freshly-baked garlic bread

Mr. Knight Rider

2006-01-19T23:10:00.000-08:00

This past week and a half has been one of the best in recent memory. Surprisingly, I owe a large part of that to the music of David Hasselhoff. Yeah - that Hasselhoff. Mr. Knight Rider.

One of the guys I work with, Michael, is an amateur filmmaker. Michael's the QA lead, who's primary job it is to smooth out our most difficult/delicate situations with clients. In addition to that (and everything else he does), he shoots and edits all of our company videos and tends to joke around with the rest of his time. He's notorious for pranks.

Michael emailed a file to a handful of us on Monday, part of his latest endeavor. He'd downloaded a copy of Hasslehoff's Looking for Freedom from somewhere, and was planning on using it to score some footage he'd shot of one of the IT guys. It's a horrid song, gloriously bad. The track spread like wildfire (or the plague, depending on your musical tastes) amongst most of our friends around the office.

Side Note: Michael can take it as well as he gives it out. A few months ago he went on vacation down in Cabo. He (of course) flaunted his trip in excess prior to leaving, all in good fun. Upon his return he found a Boys Gone Wild DVD box on his desk, with his face cloned onto the cover. All hail Photoshop. On his birthday the IT department moved his desk out onto the back patio of the building (fully connected and operational). Just recently, he went on an extended holiday vacation. We individually wrapped each item on his desk in Christmas paper, right down to his pens.

But I digress.

Not everyone got to hear the awesomely bad musical rendition, including Alea. I ran over to her desk with my laptop (which surprisingly hadn't melted down when I imported the track into iTunes), and gave her a listen. She immediately requested that I burn her a copy, and asked me to fill up the rest of the CD with music I liked. I did my best to load it up with some of my favorites.

The CD mix was a hit, and the gauntlet was thrown down. I agreed to make her another CD if she'd make me one. I got to spend the better part of the last couple of nights pouring through tunes I haven't listened to in months/years. Mixing CDs (cohesively into real albums, not just loading them with random tracks) is something I find very therapeutic. Music triggers a lot of memories for me, of people and periods in my life. Also, Alea's counter-album just kicked ass.

A couple other things have kept me from blogging the past few days.

The online game I play is having a festival. It's basically a long event with Game Masters running special merchants, characters, games and other neat miscellaneous stuff. They're really going above and beyond anything I've experienced in the world in a good long time. I got the chance design a custom alteration of one of my favorite items and got some stuff I've been trying to get my hands on forever. I've had a blast spending my fake in-game coin and roleplaying in some unique encounters.

I've also begun transitioning roles at work. As I said before, I've been working on the development of several huge projects, and have been stretched pretty thin. The Powers That Be have decided to shift me out of my current duties, and into a position that I can work on these new initiatives full-time. This is a good thing. Over the past few months I've basically been working two jobs, and I haven't been able to dedicate enough of my time to either. I'm going to be an integral part of one of the biggest endeavors in the company's history. It's exciting stuff, with huge potential for growth (for both myself and the company).

Adam needs sleep.

Dad & Liz

2006-01-02T02:03:00.000-08:00

My father and his wife, Liz, drove down for a visit on Thursday. It was only the third time I'd seen them in the past two years (we usually only communicate annually, but my sister just had the first grandchild). I don't really know how to describe the evening. Maybe it would help if I filled in some back-story...

My mother died when I was thirteen. Early in the year she came down with what seemed like a tenacious cold. She waited the obligatory time for it to pass naturally, and when it didn't headed off to the doctor's office for some professional help. In May she was diagnosed with colon cancer and she died in December. It was an aggressive strain, which had already spread to other organs before it was caught. She went downhill quickly – all the chemotherapy and treatments available did nothing. Being thirteen, the entire experience passed in some sort of surreal haze, like a dream about your life that you can only observe.

My father, sister and I are all very much alike. Peas in a pod, or whatever clever analogy you'd want to use. We did the same things, had the same hobbies, liked the same kinds of food. It's one of the things that makes Christmas shopping so damned easy (I just think "What would I like?"). My mom didn't fit into our little clique. She had her own interests, her own life, but was still as much a part of the family as rest of us. She was the glue that kept everything together.

After her death, we all mourned silently. There was no funeral, no open grieving, no formal declaration that she was gone. The three of us just went about our lives, trying to grasp on to some sense of normalcy. We all retreated back into our routines, but without our anchor began to drift apart. We projected the appearance that all was well, but it really wasn't.

Working for Xerox, Dad had accepted a job up in Los Angeles several years earlier. Due to the extreme commute, he had purchased a boat that he stayed on a couple times a week. While my mother was ill he was around constantly. After she died his presence slowly eroded over the next three years, until one day a week up north transformed into one day a week down south.

I spent the next couple of years testing boundaries. Without any sort of check and balance I just kinda drifted. I had just started my freshman year of high school when my mother died, a period that (I imagine) is difficult enough as it is. I had almost complete autonomy, sans financial independence, and was treated as a full-fledged adult amongst the family. This lead to a lackluster scholastic attitude (I only did enough to get by), and a lot of time spent amongst friends. I make no excuses for my choices now, looking back with an analytical retrospect. The other substantial event during this time was the relationship I described in an earlier blog.

My sister was the first to openly rebel from the illusion. She, like my father, spent more and more time out of the house, days at a time with her boyfriend (now husband) and his family. About the time of my ill-fated relationship and live-in girlfriend she came to the conclusion that she'd had enough of the whole thing. She moved out and fell off the grid. A lot of emotions had been bottled up between the three of us, some of the nastier ones surfaced during her departure.

A few years passed without anyone having any contact. Finally, after realizing how stupid we'd all been, a reunion was scheduled. Wounds healed, and blood forgiven. Amy and I, having been very close before, fell right back to our old dynamic (after the mandatory awkwardness, of course). Dad, on the other hand... the relationship between parent and offspring was never quite the same.

Dad, I think, ended up abandoning the conventions of his previous life. He became quasi-retired, giving up the corporate world he'd used to support the family. He took a job working in the local marine supply shop, which along with assorted odd jobs around the harbor, provide him with enough coin to supply food, liquor and the occasional bag of marijuana. Dad gets to wear sandals and shorts, travel in his dingy to work, and let his dog Chewy galavant around the store during business hours. I think the world of my father, don't get me wrong. He's happy.

And, as I mentioned, he got remarried. Liz is a kind-hearted woman, and quite a character to boot. She's a little fried, but it's a quality that adds a lot of memorability to most of her stories. Dad describes her as a "trip," often saying that she'd (at one point or another) been addicted to every substance known to man. While clean now, she has one lung and emphysema, so is obviously not in the greatest of health.

The two of them complement each other well. They're part of the "scene" up in Los Angeles, constantly throwing parties on the boat, or attending local events and concerts around the major metropolitan area. They seem to have a vast network of friends, each more interesting than the last. It's not the type of life that either my sister and I would choose, but it suits them.

Reckon that's enough information to get back to (what was, before the tangent) the crux of my post: the visit.

It was odd, I gotta say. We did the small-talk thing, caught up, and had dinner at my sister's. Dad and Liz got some face-time with the grandchild, and everyone laughed and joked. Under the surface, though, that intimacy between generations was just gone. It felt more like the interaction between distant cousins, or the way a teenager would react to a grandparent. No substance. Dad was obviously proud of the way his children have come into their own, Liz was just happy Liz. Gary seemed to be uncomfortable (not being fond of dogs). Amy and I seemed to be pretty much normal-ish.

The whole thing just felt weird. A quote from Garden State keeps getting stuck in my head as I try to vocalize my thought. Since I can't seem to express the idea to my satisfaction, I'll just leave you with the quote. Been going on way longer than I meant to anyways.

Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew: You'll see one day when you move out. It just sorta happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself. You know, for–For you kids. For the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know? Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

Emergency Maneuvers

2006-02-08T23:14:00.000-08:00

Adrenaline is a wonderful thing.

I narrowly avoided an accident on the way home tonight. I don't live far from the office, and end up taking surface roads to and from. My route is a fairly popular one, and there's always a lot of traffic around. Right down the street is a pretty major intersection, where a majority of the traffic (myself included) have to make a left turn onto another big road. So many cars make the same turn that's it's pretty common to see the line of vehicles back up well short of the turn lanes.

Tonight was no exception. Everyone started to stop about a hundred feet before the extra lanes opened up. It was one of those times where traffic slows down much quicker than you'd expect it to, and I ended up breaking a lot harder than I initially planned. I was paying attention, and was in no danger whatsoever of hitting the car in front of me. They guy behind me? Not so much. I'd happened to glance into my mirrors and noticed some headlights flying at me much faster than I'd hoped. Did the math in my head and braced for impact. Tires started to screech. At the last minute I noticed the lane next to me was empty, and quickly swerved over – an instant before the space my Jetta was just in became occupied.

The rest of my drive was in slow motion, and odd side effect to a sudden rush of endorphins.

To the US of A

2006-01-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

A friend emailed this to me a couple of days ago. The letter's old and has been floating around the internet a couple of years. It's entertaining, so I thought I'd repost it here.

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’, skipping the letter ‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’) and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in The Jerry Springer Show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn’t have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won’t have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents – Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we’re talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can’t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat’s Urine, with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat’s Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon – get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

16. Last but not the least, and for heaven’s sake.....it’s Nuclear as in clear NOT Nucular.

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese

Third Gear

2006-01-25T23:35:00.000-08:00

Where the hell did my twenties go? They're not over – not even close – but I seem to have lost a couple years in there somewhere. Today, while talking with some friends on a break it occurred to me: I'll be twenty-seven in a couple of months.

[sarcasm]
Oh my god! Twenty-seven?!? You're an old, old bastard now. How did you end up wasting your entire life?
[/sarcasm]

I'm not freaked about it in the least. This is no Sally "someday" moment. I was just surprised at the passage of time. It's just that the experiences that encompass my twenties do not feel significant enough to have spanned six years and some change. It wasn't until I verbalized my age (being closer to thirty than twenty) that it struck me now much time has passed recently. Yeah, I know time's static, and I get the whole "watched pot" thing. It just feels like I lost a couple months in the shuffle somewhere. Caught me a little off guard.

It's like I've been stuck in second gear, and am just now finding third. Gaining some momentum, y'know?

I'm not there yet, but I think my life's starting to come into focus a little bit. Got things to do and people to see. It feels like I think a life should, with plenty to do and plenty more than I hope I find the time for. I have no idea what changed, but it happened pretty recently. It sure did take its sweet time getting here.

Can I find fourth?

Communication Lines

2006-01-24T01:36:00.000-08:00

If I have one major flaw it is this: an inability to socialize. I've said it before, and I'm certain it'll come up many more times before I finally conclude this blog, whenever that may be. It is a demon that I will struggle with for the foreseeable future.

The trigger for this particular thread came from an email I received early this morning from my grandparents. It did not have any particular substance to it, and was in fact a little out of character from what I've come to expect from them. Normally, I'll receive a short letter with the happenings or health of the pair, usually revolving around stories of the quiet Pennsylvanian town in which they live. Today I received this link, which leads to a little "Go Team!" animation for the Pittsburgh Steelers (who, if you didn't know, are Super Bowl bound). I didn't realize that either of them followed football, and if they did, were charged up enough about the team to be forwarding this kind of thing to friends and family.

The reason I bring it up is that I probably won't email them back. I never do. Having said that, I probably will just to spite myself, but as a rule the statement rings true. This is not limited to (or directed at) my grandparents in any way shape or form, but rather just another of the many issues with me. I rarely initiate anything socially.

I can't being to guess at the number of people that I've lost contact with over the years. Any sort of long distance relationship of mine suffers due to my lack of follow through (with the exception of John, because he won't let it happen). If I don't see you on a regular basis, then I won't see you unless it's a special occasion.

The worst part is I'm not entirely certain why I do it. I think I rationalize it as not wanting to bother anyone else. Give everyone their peace and quiet and stay the hell out of the way. I'm very protective about my own personal space, and I just assume that everyone else is like that too. The dumb thing about this is that I'll continue the behavior even when I'm expressly invited to something. But, more often than not, I'll find some way to dodge an event if I'm not feeling completely comfortable about the whole thing. I'll make up some bullshit excuse.

All of this leads to the nickname I'd mentioned a few months back: "I-Would-Have Gotten-Away-With-It-Too, If-It-Hadn't-Been-For-You-Meddling-Kids Adam." This is a Scooby Doo reference, if you didn't catch it. I got dubbed with this little handle years ago by my friends, because I kept opting out of things. The nickname became an in-joke, which surfaced after I kept using the same bad excuse (that I had "errands" to run) over and over (which was easily translated by all that heard it). The shorter version of the name is "Crotchety Old Man Adam," which again refers to the stereotypical Scooby Doo villain who's dastardly plot is always accidentally foiled by the gang. He's usually the creepy old introverted guy who nobody ever sees until the episode's end, when his scheme unravels.

I'm fighting off the reflex more and more as of late, trying to confound my own expectations. I am making progress, usually of the forward variety. The blog itself is an affront to the whole idea of hiding behind excuses. I'm doing things that I would not do before. Saying "yes" to what was chronically in the "no" category.

Rhetorical: How much of my personality is dictated by experiences and how much of it by genes, I wonder? Do I have an inherent hardwired issues with communicating? Is it something I learned, and if so, where?

Capitalism

2006-01-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

The primary goal of every business out there is to make money. To better one's own life, and help ensure that the next generation is just a little better off than you were. Capitalism is good. Sometimes, though, it just pisses me off.

Particularly infuriating are re-releases and "special editions" of entertainment products (specifically DVDs and music). Maybe it's just my own bad luck or poor timing, but I always seem to purchase something only to discover shortly thereafter that there's a newer model, or better version of whatever the hell I just bought.

I bought an iPod a few months back, just weeks before they released the color screened variations. Now they've upgraded to the über video models. I like my iPod, but still...

I'm a DVD hound, and have a little more than 200 titles on my shelf. Granted, I've got some crap in my collection, but a vast majority of it is stuff that I just love. I started purchasing DVDs pretty early on, back when VHS was still alive and kicking. When I was younger (with less responsibility and more disposable income), I'd pick up a couple a week every week. This rate of purchasing dwindled, and now I only purchase titles once or twice every couple of months. I can't begin to count how many of my DVDs now have "special editions," filled with features that I couldn't find before. Is George Lucas running the show?

The newest frustration comes at the expense of one of my favorite television shows, Firefly. Ever since the show's cancellation back in 2003 I've wanted to get my hands on a copy of the soundtrack/score. Sure, I could burn some music files off of my DVD set, but I wanted a clean copy of the music, without sound effects, dialogue and other distractions. Nothing was available for years. Right before the release of Serenity (the feature film continuation of the series) I found it – a soundtrack! It was only available for purchase through Fox's online store, but it was what I'd been looking for. Busted out my credit card immediately and started downloading.

Then today comes. I'm browsing on Amazon and notice the soundtrack listed on it. Odd. I pull up the listing and not only does it include the tracks I bought, but five additional tracks that weren't available from the "exclusive" official release from the network. One of the missing tracks was one of my favorite bits of composing for the entire series, a disappointing omission from the first go-round. So now do I pony up the cash for a second copy?

Wash: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

I'll spend the money, guys. Just give me fair warning that you're gonna release multiple variations of something. Stop doing it on purpose. Give me the opportunity to evaluate all of the options, and choose the product that I want. Please?